….mangled metaphors and misapplied analogies
Can’t tell you the number of very educated candidates over the years that in their speaking, become fond of metaphors…which is OK…however…they mangle the metaphor.
They say things like “pass mustard“, instead of “pass muster”…”took off like haywire”…instead of “wildfire”…”preaching to the congregation“…instead of “choir”…I have had different candidates tell me they wanted to “hit the ball running,” “give their best foot forward,” or said, ”I’m living fat on the hog” and the “cream will rise to the crop”…”you are barking up the wrong dog”…”eats at my crawl”…”brightest block in the box ”…
I could go on, but you get the message. We have all heard folks do this at times…we are amused and kind of laugh. But in the interviewing situation, they can be disastrous. This is especially true if they are repeated. They are distracting and, in most cases, don’t reflect well on the person being interviewed. Soooo, practice interviewing. If you have a tendency to mangle your metaphors or misapply your analogies, have someone help you or get yourself some and google a few. If you are going to lose a deal, don’t let it be over something so simple to correct. So, keep your nose to the ground and your ear to the grindstone…practice interviewing…watch the pictures you describe…
As long as we are at it, here are some others:
“As long as that dog hunts, we’ll ride him,”
“It’s the best thing since sliced Spam.”
“Never judge a book by its title.”
“Never put all your eggs in one omelet.”
“The guy just couldn’t cut the custard.”
“That guy is a wolf in cheap clothing.”
Oh, brother…
…hiding behind voicemails, emails. . and just plain ignoring YOU…shake the dust off your feet
One of the most, if not the most, frustrating things that a job searcher goes through is learning to live with unreturned calls, and un-responded to emails. You are overwhelmed with disbelief. You just can’t believe that after all of those wonderful interviews where you were told that you were, “perfect candidate,” and that “you’ll hear back from us soon” and then NOTHING… nada…zip…
Frustration with this experience leads to downright anger. Jobseekers can’t believe that people in organizations can be so rude. They go through a number of interviews that seem to be excellent but beyond the encouragement at the end of a group of interviews they hear absolutely nothing. Even we, as recruiters run into this…a lot. We communicate with most of our clients over the phone. But it’s becoming more and more common for some hiring authorities to only communicate with email, whenever they decide the timing is best. Emails don’t communicate emotion. There is very little “conversational” give-and-take. It is extremely antiseptic. Well, you and I just plain have to get used to it.
Cursing this experience and getting mad about it isn’t going to do you any good. In fact, the more energy you expend toward a negative event, the more you reinforce that events replication. Expending energy this way detracts from your ability to devote positive emotions toward what you might be able to influence and control.
The first step is to never, ever, ever believe what people tell you until it is followed up with their actions. If someone tells you that you are a great candidate and that they would like to pursue you, only believe it when they follow up with the actions that reinforce yout being a good candidate, by communicating with you and, most importantly, inviting you back for interviews. Actions always speak louder than words, especially in this situation.
The second step, and this is probably the hardest, is to be as understanding and accepting of being ignored as you can. Over ninety nine percent of the time you being ignored is not because people don’t like you, or hate you, or think you’re insignificant or never want to speak with you again. It’s vastly more than likely that they are distracted from you by other things that you have absolutely no control over and most likely have nothing to do with you. Having done this since 1973 and probably been involved with at least 100,000 interviewing cycles, I’ve come to the conclusion that 50% of the time the company has found, in their eyes, a better candidate. In spite of what they told you, that you were a fantastic candidate and you are perfect for the job, they found someone else they thought was better. Twenty five percent of the time, their interviewing process is still dragging on and they don’t have the guts to call you and tell you that they are so incompetent that they just can’t make up their minds about what to do, so their interviewing process is still going on (… even though they told you three weeks ago they were ready to make a decision). Twenty five percent of the time they change their mind about hiring anybody outside the company, i.e. they move somebody from within the organization into the job (…which is probably what they were going to do all along, but wanted to look like they were practicing business intelligence by interviewing externally) or they “reorganize” and don’t fill the job at all, just divide up the duties and responsibilities to other folks. (This 50%, 25% and 25% may not be “statistically” accurate by any mathematical study, but my gut on these things is usually correct).
After you have sent a number of emails… with no response, left a number of voicemails… with no return call over a period of about a week, the third step, and probably the most important one, is to know when to move on. Say prayers for these folks, recognize that they are “spiritual beings acting human,” forgive them for their rudeness, practice “holy acceptance” (Google: St. Ignatius of Loyola), drop the idea that you are going to get a job offer from them and start focusing on other opportunities. That’s it! Don’t expend any emotional or mental effort on the opportunity anymore.
Keep the door open. The fourth step is to avoid any emotional response to “tell them off.” Do not send some ridiculous email telling them they are rude, have no manners or are stupid. In their hearts they know they are being rude, but they are busy with other things. If you are a viable candidate, you never know if their first, second, or third candidate might turn them down or take another job and all of a sudden you are the “#1 choice”. If you write some stupid email or leave a voicemail that tells them they can take their job and stuff it where the sun don’t shine, you may never get the chance at the opportunity if a number of others don’t take it for one reason or another. Always leave the door open for an opportunity to get a job offer. I had a candidate a number of years ago that was offered a job after eight others had turned it down. Twenty years later he was the president and owner of the company. You may not want the job if it’s offered to you, but always leave the door open.
Here is the key: If you have a number of opportunities in the queue, when this happens you won’t be devastated. You might be disappointed, but you won’t be devastated. This kind of, seemingly, insult is emotionally and mentally offset when you are involved in lots of opportunities and interviewing cycles. It may bother you, but you have so many other opportunities that you are looking at, you can’t afford to get lost in the “poor me” or victim syndrome. Get on with focusing on the job opportunities you have in front of you where you can influence the outcome and possibly get a job offer.
In Mark 6:11 and Mark 10:11, Christ gives great job hunting advice, “If any place will not welcome you or listen to you… shake the dust off your feet…” and move on. Jim Rohn used to remind us that we have other signals these days of communicating the same feelings, but the action is the same… move on!
Remember what the doctor says when the patient dies:
“Next.”
…shark tank lessons for your job search
My wife, Chrissy, loves Shark Tank. It is probably one of the most popular shows on television although most people probably won’t admit it. Chrissy not only watches it on Friday night where most of the new episodes appear, but also three or four other nights a week where they do reruns. There are some of these we’ve seen at least three times. I’ve often thought that it would be a good idea for every job seeker in America to watch Shark Tank. Here are some of the lessons:
The first lesson is to look and be likable. When people come out on shark tank dressed nicely, smiling, looking sincere, like they’re there to help other people with their product or service, and come across as simply nice always have an advantage. The ones that come out looking like they think the world revolves around them, overdressed, trying to look sexy, communicating, “Im da’ bomb,” or a guy who communicates, “I’m a stud,” already have a strike against them. You could almost see the sharks bristle when they walk into the “tank”. First lesson: look and be likeable!(It is amazing to me how many seemingly poor ventures get funded by the Sharks when they are presented by a really likable person. If you ever watch the show, see how many times one of those sharks says, “… I really like you” and then offers to back the person in spite of the product’s flaws.)
The second lesson is to have something clear,different, even if simple, to say. So many people get on Shark Tank and really don’t know how to tell a simple story about what they do and what they’re about. Often, they get through with their presentation and the sharks have to ask them, “we don’t really understand… what are you trying to do?” The Sharks get lost in some roundabout, unclear story about what they are being asked to invest in. Second lesson: keep it simple!
The third lesson is to know exactly what benefits your product or service providing others. A product or service that, “revolutionizes the world in 10 different ways” never sells. A person only needs two or three features, advantages and benefits in order to make a sale. They have to be very important features advantages benefits i.e. ones that can’t be found any other way. Over the years both Chrissy and I have noticed that the most popular Shark Tank products have been targeted toward one simple problem. They seem to be the quickest to get funded by the sharks, and also the most successful. Third lesson: know what you’re selling!
The fourth lesson is to anticipate objections. Often it only takes the sharks a few questions to reveal that the presenters don’t appear to have been totally “truthful” with the sharks. By asking questions, the sharks discover credit issues, debt issues, partner issues, etc. they didn’t reveal in their presentation. When this happens, the sharks feel deceived, like the seekers of the investment are trying to “put one over on them.” Most of the time these folks get sent packing rather rudely. Fourth lesson: know what the objections to you being hired are and reveal them, so to speak, in your presentation.
The fifth lesson is to have a simple solution to a difficult problem, demonstrate how it works, then ask for the order. No matter how complicated the product might be, the most successful Shark Tank solicitors present their solution in a simple manner, demonstrate it, the ask for the investment. Candidates interviewing need to do the same thing. “The companies that I’ve worked for in the past had a problem with…..(accounting, IT, sales, customer support, marketing,Production, manufacturing, etc.). And here is how I helped solve the problem….I can do the same for you. Now, when can I go to work?” Here is where the specific features of your ability become advantages to the company you have worked for and how those companies benefited from them. This communicates to a prospective employer that since you’ve done that for past employers, you will do it for them. You then, simply ask for the job.Fifth lesson: sell features, advantages and benefits, then ask for the order.
Shark Tank lessons for the job seeker!
…still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest
… Simon and Garfunkel, “The Boxer,” 1969. You know how a song will sometimes come to you from seemingly nowhere and it keeps persevering in your head? This song as a single came out In 1969, the year Chrissy and I were married. It appeared on the album “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” In 1970. Someone gave us this album as a belated, casual wedding present. I think we wore the grooves out of that album ( if you don’t know what “grooves” are on an album, ask your elders).
These words come to me probably more often than most old songs do, simply because they apply so much to my profession. Every day… and I mean,every day These words apply to the candidates and the hiring authorities that we do business with. Especially in the interviewing process, people hear what they want to hear and seem to block out lots of stuff they don’t want to hear or should hear.
At least once a day, I have a candidate report to me about how an interview went, Telling me that they absolutely “nailed it,” that it went great and that, based on what they heard, they are a shoo-in for the job. Upon following up with the hiring authority, I find out that, not only did they miss the mark of the hiring authority was looking for, but they performed terribly in the interview. Likewise, I’ve had hiring authorities Who were absolutely thrilled with the candidate and talked about what it would take to hire them, only to find out that the hiring authority gave a terrible impression of the job, the company and, worst of all, himself.They both had “happy ears,” seeing what they wanted to see.
On the other side of the same coin, hiring authorities will often get hung up on one negative aspect of a candidate’s background. Things like one too many jobs in a short period of time or one poor decision in leaving a company can cause a hiring authority to miss some very important aspects about a candidate’s background. Candidates can misunderstand one or two statements made by an employer and all of a sudden become disinterested in an opportunity in the middle of an interview and never listen to some of the quality things about the job that they would really interest them. Both parties forming negative opinions before they had a fair shot.
Psychologists tell us that we only remember 20% of what we hear, in passive listening, 30% of what we see and hear even in active listening. And this is during normal conversations which doesn’t even take into account the emotional strain that goes on both sides of the desk in an interviewing situation. When people are emotionally ill at ease, their memory skills are even worse. So, it’s totally understandable that candidates think they did real well when they didn’t and employers think they sold their job when they didn’t. They both hear what they want to hear and disregard the rest.
The implication of this fact requires specific awarenesses and ways of offsetting the downside. First thing, of course, is to be aware of the problem. Simply the awareness of the fact that I may not be listening attentively takes all the difference in the world. Secondly, and this is so simple.. Take notes. Writing down keywords… You don’t have to record every word, just the keywords.. Forces both the candidate and the interviewing authority to pay better attention to what’s being said.
For a candidate, using a structured presentation every time one interviews ensures the fact that the candidate will consciously sell their features and advantages and benefits. So often, candidates go down the rabbit hole when they go into interviews without a structure in mind. They get asked some dumb ass question like, “tell me about yourself” and follow it to disaster.
For employers or interviewing authorities using a structured interview (we’ve recommended this before and have copies of them if someone would like to receive one. Just write me and ask me for one, Tony@Babich.com). The structured interview forces the interviewing authority to ask every candidate exactly the same questions and forces them to take notes so that they can reasonably compare candidates even weeks apart from being interviewed.
What both candidates and interviewing authorities can do that’s also very important, is to summarize what went on in the interview immediately after it taking place. This is especially important for a candidate so that the candidate can write an effective thank you note as well as have great information for second, third and subsequent interviews. These interviews can get spread out over a long period of time… even weeks. No one is smart enough to remember what might be important to one hiring authority or one company two or three weeks after an initial interview.
This kind of selective hearing… hearing what we want to hear Can kill a great opportunity for everyone.
…f ’em
This is an email that I got back from where my candidates when I wrote them and told them that the organization that we had been to three interviews with was going to pass. They stated they were going to hire someone else and that my candidate wouldn’t be considered. The hiring manager gave me some really weak reasons as to why my candidate didn’t do well in the interviews. I related these to my candidate and not only did he deny them but explained to me that the hiring manager totally missed one of the points that my candidate had made.
I understand my candidate’s feelings and the graphic expression of his frustration. I am somewhat biased, but my candidate has been tremendously successful in just about everything that he has ever done and the reasons our client was passing pretty weak. Based on what I could see, the candidate was a better performer than the guy doing the interviewing and the hiring authority was likely afraid Of the candidate.
Regardless of the reasons, however, the attitude of my candidate is not good. Getting mad and telling them to f’off isn’t going to create a situation where the candidate is going to learn from the interview. We all realize that it is an emotional reaction to being rejected. And being rejected is never fun. But whenever this happens, we have to take as much of a positive attitude towards it as we can and be open to learning from it. It is very hard to learn from this kind of situation when you’re all pissed off, mad and angry.
So before you “f’em,” calm down and think, “I don’t like the results of this a bit, but what could I have done differently to get a different outcome? What have I learned? How can I do better?”
ego…a mistake of the intellect…also of interviewing
Just read a great book, Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. It chronicles ancient as well as modern historical disasters as a result of leaders’ big egos. It reminded me of the Sanskrit quote that, “ego is a mistake of the intellect.”
It also reminded me of the interviewing situation… on both sides of the desk. All of us will admit that there are some pretty phenomenally big egos out there in business. Some people feel that in order to be successful they have to be the center of attention. For whatever inadequacy they may have in their personality makeup, they feel the best way to offset their inadequacy is to be particularly egotistical. (I worked with the hiring authority some years back who actually told candidates that his job was to hire people to make “him look good.” And it would be their job to do the same.)
Many job candidates feel as though they must assert their ego in the interviewing situation. “After all,” they say, “if I don’t toot my own horn in the interview, no one will pay attention to me.” And hiring authorities often want to communicate that they are just that, the “authority.” These kind of managers are phenomenally difficult to interview with, much less work for. And, frankly, there is very little a candidate can do about it when interviewing. If you’re a job candidate, and you are offered the opportunity to work with such a person, you’d best ask a lot of questions of the people who presently work there to see if you can work for this kind of personality. Sometimes, managers come across much more egotistically in the interviewing environment than they really are. Often, this kind of ego can be worked “with” rather than “for.”
As a job candidate, however, there is a great deal you can do about taming your ego. There’s a really big difference between having a healthy ego and a big ego. A person with a healthy ego puts their accomplishments in the light of how they helped their previous company or their previous customers succeed. They couch their successes in terms of others rather than themselves. You hear them using the terms “we” and “fortunate,” and “blessed” as well as “the team” and “great clients.” They connect their successes of the past to the great mentors they had. They recall their “wins” with the same humility as their experience of failure. They put failure in the context of what they learned and take full, personal responsibility for outcomes. They focus on process rather than results. They take what they do seriously but not themselves too seriously. They accept failure as well as success with the same grateful attitude. They sell their strengths with humility and readily admit their weaknesses with humor and a smile.
Many candidates, because they are nervous and anxious about interviewing, go overboard in the ego department. Because they are nervous and insecure they feel compelled to push what “they” have done. “I…I…I…” becomes their mantra.
Interviewing in this manner takes practice.
