Category Archives: communication

…more misguided (… Stupid) advice

So this week some job search guru goes on LinkedIn and writes an article about how interviewing and hiring authorities have an obligation to give you feedback about your interview with them… The guy goes on and on about how hiring authorities should and ought to give you feedback on the interview you had with them and how if you keep calling them, the good ones realize their obligation and will give you feedback…

Hokum… Garbage… BS… Laughable… Like what planet are you living on?… It’s obviously clear that this guy has never spent much time finding people jobs… It’s totally misleading to tell people that they’re going to get feedback from an interviewing or hiring authority more than, maybe once out of 15 times…

This guy goes on and on about how good managers, interviewers and hiring authorities should and will give you honest feedback  about your interview…DON’T BUY ONE WORD OF IT… I don’t know what this guy is smoking or where he dreamed this idea up… But the truth is 99.99% of all of the people you will interview with, unless they are really interested in hiring you and are incredibly nice,  are NOT going to give you any feedback about you or your interviewing…

Should they be willing to give you feedback? … Yes!… Will they tell you that they will?… Yes! Do they know it’s courteous to do that?… Yes!… Will they do it?… NO!!! is it rude?… Yes!…  Is it discourteous?! …Yes!… But, are they going to do it?…NO!

It’s not a matter that they are intentionally mean, or insincere, or rude… They are simply unintentionally mean, insincere, and rude… So you ask “how can people be that way?”… Really easy… They just are! You notice me writing about ‘spiritual beings acting human?’… Well, this is a manifestation of spiritual beings acting human…

So, you may ask for feedback from folks you’ve interviewed… Just plain don’t expect it… If you get it, you are blessed… but just don’t expect it. Don’t waste your time wondering why, hoping, wishing, begging, wondering, speculating… Just accept the fact that you’re not going to get it, quit cursing the darkness and move on to the next opportunity…

Having done this for more than 40 years the only reason I can imagine that people will be, at best, inconsiderate is because they are so busy and so wrapped up in their own lives that giving you feedback on your performance in an interview is just  not a high priority to them… Ironically,  when they become a candidate and go to look for a job they can’t believe that interviewing and hiring authorities are so rude…

So, quit losing any emotion over this and move on…

…simple idea

…look, on your cell phone voice mail message tell people who you are…do you know how many times people..hiring authorities… might call your number, not be sure it is your cell v.m. and hang up

especially three years from now…they dig your resume or information out and think you might fit the job they have then…call and get a recording with just a number without a personal identification like, “this is tony beshara..please leave a message”…so they hang up

get the point…make sure people know it is you!

…”but i never hear back from them…it’s sooooooo mean and rude”

we hear this almost daily…sometimes even about oursleves…people send a resume…have an interview..or even two…then don’t hear from the employer or interviewing authority…..ever…not even a “buzz off”…”you suck”…”wouldn’t hire you if you were the last candidate on earth”…nothing…nada…even after they say, “we’ll be in touch”…(i have had employers tell my candidates that they were going to call them with a job offer, then never do it)

we shouldn’t excuse rude behavior, but your getting mad or upset about this kind of treatment simply won’t help you get  a job…

it is almost impossible for hiring or interviewing authorities to get back to every candidate whose resume they review or they interview…simply impossible

lesson: pray for them…they are covered up with work..maybe they are rude…maybe even mean…maybe insensative…we could go on and on…but it won’t do any good… they have tons of candidates to choose from and to speak with…and besides, they are running a business too

they are, as Teilhard de Chardin stated, “spiritual beings acting human”…forgive and dismiss …spend your energy finding another interview

…social networks

will social networks help get you a job???…too early to tell

it is the rage..plaxo, linkedin, facebook…and now twitter??? ..folks publishing books on how these things will find you a job…oh, brother..

i’m old enough to remember when the fax machine was gonna revolutionize the world..(i placed a sale guy with burroughs one time who was  hire to sell fax machines…for $100,000 a machine…)

and the world was gonna go “paperless” with the advent of the internet…and we use more paper than we ever have..

hey, look..i’m in  the trenches every day helpng people find jobs..one person at a time..i really don’t have time to care if you twitter me that you have to go to the bathroom…and neither do our clients or your future employer..in fact, it may get quite annoying

but, if any of these things help you get face-to-face interviews…have at it..but don’t hold your breath and think that they are going to revolutionize your job search..or above all, make you a better candiadate..

one of these books about getting hired via the internet never even mentioned being interviewed or how to do it…

don’t be suprised if all these things go the way of the job boards…simply so much information it is overwhelming…

again, use this stuff if it helps you feel good or helps you get an interview…but don’t expect it to be the “answer”

….those on linkedin

interesting…one of my candidates invited me to join his connections on linkedin…i did..

his boss, also in my candidate’s connections, saw that my candidate added me…his boss confronted him as to why he would all of a sudden invite a well known recruiter into his connections…i.e…”you looking for a job?”

my candidate was a bit stunned…his boss had a point..

so, best think about who is in your connections..or maybe, when you add them..

…doing something for the less fortunate

i know things may not be going so well for you…in a lousy job..not making enough…or out of work for a long time…having to file bankruptcy…can’t even get good interviews…

along with being grateful, praying and listening to positive stuff try doing something for someone less fortunate than you…and yes, there is someone…probably lots of “someones” who are less fortunate than you…

find ‘em…do something for them..completely outside of yourself..listen, really listen to their problems and, for a moment, forget your own..

volunteer …and if you don’t think you have time for that..you really do and you know it…you can go to the soup kitchen and feed the hungry one hour a week..

clean up the alley…there are thousands of things you can do…the more you do for those less fortunate, the more will come back to you in other ways

…keeping motivated

when the news sucks, like it does, and you are either out of work or anxiously looking for a job while you have one, it is easy to get down…some even get depressed

so many folks today have never had to look for a job or haven’t seen such a difficult job market..

the first thing to do is to take massive action toward looking for a new job…but one of the most important things you can do is to read motivational books, listen to motivational tapes and CD’s, pray, feed the spirit and stay around positive people..

the world is a negative place…blame adam and eve or anyone you wish, but the world is simply negative…there is much joy, beauty and awe, but life on this earth is plain old difficult…even in the best of times…we are born crying and childbirth is painful

we have to be constantly “overlaying” the negative…one of the downsides to “job search groups” is the principle of “confirmation bias”…we look for things to confirm our bias…so if we are sad and poor we look for others that are sad and poor, then justify our thoughts and feelings by saying, “see, everyone is sad and poor”..

so, constantly overlay the negative…your car radio should be loaded with tapes and CD’s…quit listening to the (bad) news.. be reading tons of positive books…be around positive, up beat people…stay motivated, emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally…this takes a lot of work to do, but it really makes a difference

…gratitude

i have been doing this since 1973…i have seen and experienced just about every aspect of an individuals job search as can be imagined…

one of the spiritual practices that makes searching for a job easier is to practice gratitude…

so, you say..”look, tony…i got fired…lost my job…haven’t had an interview in four weeks…just got rejected…and you want me to be GRATEFUL..are you nuts…what do i have to be grateful for?”

well, just the chance to wake up every morning and start looking for a job…for one thing…

just this week two of my candidates were diagnosed with different types of cancer..and another just got home from a colon cancer operation..finding a job isn’t quite as important as it might seem

begin each day being grateful…simply thank God you are alive and are capable of dealing with the challenges in front of you…

this habit won’t keep unfortunate things from happening to you…it won’t really help you get an interview or keep you from being turned down for the job you thought you were going to get…but it will help you put those issues in perspective…

be grateful…even if it isn’t easy

…as long as we are talking ‘spiritual’

as long as we are on this subject let me share with you a practical way of “giving”…and the wonderful return

it has to do with being as kind, patient, understanding and even forgiving to and with people you encounter in your job search that could irritate you and down right make you mad, angry and frustrated..

these are the people, hiring authorities, interviewing authorities…anyone you encounter in the job search, that are rude, or tell you what they think at the moment that turns out to not be the truth…(lie!) .

you know that you are vulnerable..looking for a job is very emotional and difficult…you are senstive to what people tell you and how they treat you…and often, it just isn’t nice..

welllllll…forgive them…get over it…they are spiritual beings acting human….they are so wrapped up in themselves,  they don’t know they are running you over…

since you are sensative, you take it personally…it isn’t personal…soooooo, forgive them, pray for them..be even kinder to them…let them know you appreciate their sitaution if you get the chance..

the big payoff…it will make you feel better

…so what do you pray for

so you read the last topic and you say, “so what do i pray for?”….good question

since 1973, i have had candidates that let me know that they prayed …i didn’t take a pole…and i don’t ask everyone about it…but it comes up from time to time…

here is what i learned…the people that seem to get the most out of “praying”..don’t pray for a better job..they pray that they get God’s help in doing a thorough job search…that they get God’s help in interviewing well…and after that, they pray that “thy will be done”..

this kind of prayer really seems to work…praying for the ablility do deal with what ever happens…not praying for a particular outcome, but the strength and courage to accept and deal with what ever happens…