This is an email that I got back from where my candidates when I wrote them and told them that the organization that we had been to three interviews with was going to pass. They stated they were going to hire someone else and that my candidate wouldn’t be considered. The hiring manager gave me some really weak reasons as to why my candidate didn’t do well in the interviews. I related these to my candidate and not only did he deny them but explained to me that the hiring manager totally missed one of the points that my candidate had made.

I understand my candidate’s feelings and the graphic expression of his frustration. I am somewhat biased, but my candidate has been tremendously successful in just about everything that he has ever done and the reasons our client was passing pretty weak. Based on what I could see, the candidate was a better performer than the guy doing the interviewing and the hiring authority was likely afraid Of the candidate.

Regardless of the reasons, however, the attitude of my candidate is not good. Getting mad and telling them to f’off isn’t going to create a situation where the candidate is going to learn from the interview. We all realize that it is an emotional reaction to being rejected. And being rejected is never fun. But whenever this happens, we have to take as much of a positive attitude towards it as we can and be open to learning from it. It is very hard to learn from this kind of situation when you’re all pissed off, mad and angry.

So before you “f’em,” calm down and think, “I don’t like the results of this a bit, but what could I have done differently to get a different outcome? What have I learned? How can I do better?”