Monthly Archives: August 2013

I knew Jim for about 15 years… he had been a candidate on and off over the years.. he had an absolutely stellar career with a major software vendor. …in the upper 1% or 2% of the sales organization and even reached the first level of  management …there were years where he earned as much is $500,000  and was recognized as one of the BEST…

About two years ago he lost his job and was out of work for a year… It just seemed that he could never get it together… He really wasn’t trying to find a job very hard because he would drop out of sight for a few months at a time… After a long period of unemployment, he called and said that he’d gotten his life back together and was ready to go to work… He did tell me that he had lost his wife and his family to divorce; but  he was back on his feet again and ready to do whatever he had to do..

I checked with a couple of people to validated that he was back on his feet , then I began the search to find him a job… In fact, I did find him employment: however he was on the job for little better than a week and my clients found out that he did not have a valid drivers license so they let him go… he had too many DWI’s and his life was a mess…that was about 10 months ago and I kind of lost track of him…

Then just the other day, one of our mutual friends called to tell me that Jim had overdosed on crack cocaine and was dead… he died in some flophouse…

Jim was in his late 50’s… had a good career… I’m always amazed and befuddled as to how these kinds of things happen… I have dealt with lots of people since 1973 and I never quite understand what happens when people go off in this direction…. Is it a wrong turn that they made in their life… Is it some kind of chemical imbalance that all of a sudden takes control… Is it mental, emotional or physical…

This kind of thing isn’t only sad… it makes you stop and just wonder… we get so wrapped up in the day-to-day issues of making a living, finding a job or raising our children or going about our lives and this kind of thing is shocking…

So, if  you read this because you need a job or know someone who does, put things in perspective…pray for Jim’s soul…pray for the thousands who must be tortured this way…PRAY… But by the grace of God go all of us…

this is my metaphor for what people do… or should I say, don’t do… in their job search…

Instead of keeping constantly active in making calls, making presentations of themselves, getting interviews, going on as many interviews as they possibly can and doing follow-up interviews, etc., they “nurse a rock”.

Examples of  “nursing a rock”  are things like getting an interview for a few days in the future and then doing nothing at all until the interview…or having a number of interviews with one firm and waiting, hoping and wishing for an offer…instead of taking more massive action by getting other interviews…

Job seekers spend an enormous amount of emotional energy as well as time “nursing rocks“… waiting, hoping, and wishing about things and events that they can do nothing about it… don’t fall prey to this… I know it’s easier to wish and hope and pray than it is to take massive action, to pick up the phone and try to get a new interview or follow up on the resume you sent or call back on an opportunity that you interviewed  for…

You really can’t “nurse a rock”… it leads to frustration and disappointment… if you spend your time taking actions you can control, and stop wasting time and emotion on things out of your control you actually create so many opportunities for a job offer you are not dependent on any one or two opportunities

I heard a great sermon on forgiveness…how important it is spiritually, psychologically, even physically…every major faith teaches forgiveness because it doesn’t come naturally or easily…

Once you get the hang of it..and it may not be easy to practice, it is amazing how much better you feel about yourself..not just the other person ..but yourself…

How does this effect your job search??..Well, if you are like most job seekers, you have been lied to…and told you were going to be hired…interviewed…and gotten back to…encouraged, etc. only to be left with no answers…silence…no communication..

You sent your resume to a job posting you are ‘PERFECT’ for…one of your friends said he or she would get you an “Interview” with their company and they don’t… one of your old bosses interviewed you and says he’d like to hire you, but doesn’t… you get the idea…

The human tendency is to get mad and angry at the folks who communicated this..you were hurt, already psychologically down and then you are lied to…

I know it is hard…but you’ve got to FORGIVE…the sooner you forgive all of this stuff, the faster you can move forward effectively with a clear focus on the future …focusing on the things you need to do to get hired without the emotional drain of resentment and anger…

So, practice…right now, write down all the people who have hurt you recently…now, forgive them…then let it go…forgive and let it go…forgive and let it go..

You will feel better and be more focused on what needs to be done..

Love is patient… patient with the people who tell you they’re going to call you back and then never do… patient with the people who tell you you’re a perfect candidate and you never hear from him again… patient with yourself for all your human frailties…Love is kind… Even when you don’t want to be… even when you’re frustrated, mad and angry…And it is not jealous… Of those who get a lot of interviews… of those who tell you they just got hired or those who may not be as good as you, but get hired…Love does not brag…About the fantastic interview you got or a really great job offer…And is not arrogant… We are as graceful when we get a great interview or get a great job as we are when we “strikeout” every job search technique we try…Love does not act unbecomingly… We are nice to people even when they are not nice to us… we pray for those who won’t interview us or won’t hire us…It does not seek its own… It’s knowing that if we put the hiring authority’s  needs first we will get what we want…It is not provoked… No matter how poorly you are treated or frustrated you become you never lose your cool, remembering that you can only control your own feelings and thoughts…Love does not take into account a wrong suffered… When you were lied to… when you are strung out to then be rejected… treated rudely…Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness… Life is unfair… and it affects everybody… get over it…But rejoices in truth… The truth that you are a good employee and that if you keep working hard enough you will be successful at finding a job…Love bears all things … the phenomenal ups and downs of a difficult job search…Believes all things… You know you will be successful…Hopes all things… Grateful for every opportunity you have to find a new job…Love never fails…It never, ever fails…

With apologies to St. Paul…